Lakfemnat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, pitiless jellyfish.

Lakfemnat created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Lakfemnat, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Lakfemnat, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Lakfemnat's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Lakfemnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never think ill of sick mice.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Lakfemnat on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.