Jamkipyak is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humane mink.

Jamkipyak created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamkipyak, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jamkipyak, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Jamkipyak's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Jamkipyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

2. Never mention snakes.

3. Never write about dwarf planets.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near bats while wearing black boots and balancing nine iron spheres on your face.