Bastfabjammipwig is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, moody fairy.

Bastfabjammipwig created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastfabjammipwig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bastfabjammipwig, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bastfabjammipwig's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Bastfabjammipwig's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Run away from violet hamsters, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Pray towards the west.