Quimflanarf is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, self-confident hummingbird.

Quimflanarf created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimflanarf, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quimflanarf, he will turn you into a puffin.

Quimflanarf's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Quimflanarf's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry dolphins.

2. Do not keep seven geese in a large pit.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never think ill of sick great tits.

5. Never write about amino acids.