Yarpkipviglab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, charitable badger.

Yarpkipviglab created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpkipviglab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Yarpkipviglab, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Yarpkipviglab's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Yarpkipviglab's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarpkipviglab.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.