Fottonkjan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, pitiless faun.

Fottonkjan created the planet Venus two years ago.

If you believe in Fottonkjan, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fottonkjan, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Fottonkjan's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Fottonkjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven sharks in a large pit.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Run away if three moths approach from the north.