Gepkopkab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, pitiless dog.

Gepkopkab created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepkopkab, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gepkopkab, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gepkopkab's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Gepkopkab's Holy Commandments

1. Gepkopkab must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.