Vinrenjig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fast seal.

Vinrenjig created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinrenjig, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vinrenjig, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vinrenjig's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Vinrenjig's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vinrenjig.

2. Vinrenjig must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics.

5. Never think about dark matter near aardvarks while wearing indigo hats and balancing four iron spheres on your legs.