Laggepbam is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid pig.

Laggepbam created a strange quark two years ago.

If you believe in Laggepbam, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Laggepbam, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Laggepbam's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Laggepbam's Holy Commandments

1. Shrews are not to be trusted.

2. Feed all hungry porpoises.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always wear blue.

5. You must never eat limes.