Hoggepgof is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, conceited goblin.

Hoggepgof created energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hoggepgof, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hoggepgof, he will boil you in a big pot.

Hoggepgof's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Hoggepgof's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near ants while wearing black kilts and balancing six tin spheres on your head.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.