Tenflistun is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, egotistical scorpion.

Tenflistun created the Andromeda Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tenflistun, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tenflistun, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tenflistun's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Tenflistun's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near tortoises.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near pigs while wearing cyan kilts.