Wapmutnab Nadnegnil is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unjust human.

Wapmutnab Nadnegnil created a Higgs boson three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapmutnab Nadnegnil, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wapmutnab Nadnegnil, she will turn you into a tree.

Wapmutnab Nadnegnil's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Wapmutnab Nadnegnil's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white ear rings.

2. Run away if nine ants approach from the north.

3. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Never talk about fire.