Ominpodwat is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, competent bird.

Ominpodwat created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominpodwat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ominpodwat, she will turn you into a plant.

Ominpodwat's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Ominpodwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ominpodwat.

4. Never sing near goats.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.