Goncunlab Kikartbumomtfumjam is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-powerful wyrm.

Goncunlab Kikartbumomtfumjam created the Milkyway two years ago.

If you believe in Goncunlab Kikartbumomtfumjam, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Goncunlab Kikartbumomtfumjam, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Goncunlab Kikartbumomtfumjam's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Goncunlab Kikartbumomtfumjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Never talk about dark matter near horses while wearing yellow trousers and balancing five tin spheres on your chest.

4. Hide if six moths approach from the north.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Goncunlab Kikartbumomtfumjam.