Lapvil is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-powerful chicken.

Lapvil created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lapvil, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lapvil, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Lapvil's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Lapvil's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about goats.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never feed bananas to rats while wearing turquoise corsets.

5. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.