Pibteenged Nulyokbum is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unjust wren.

Pibteenged Nulyokbum created the Andromeda Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pibteenged Nulyokbum, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pibteenged Nulyokbum, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Pibteenged Nulyokbum's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Pibteenged Nulyokbum's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Hide from violet swans for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.