Flabgodarpfitbugstaf is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud coyote.

Flabgodarpfitbugstaf created Asia three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabgodarpfitbugstaf, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flabgodarpfitbugstaf, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Flabgodarpfitbugstaf's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Flabgodarpfitbugstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always help manatees in need.