Xucklargbam is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, overgenerous wolf.

Xucklargbam created a quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucklargbam, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Xucklargbam, he will turn you into a rat.

Xucklargbam's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Xucklargbam's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Never paint your feet indigo.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.