Stigkenlarn Higsidgat is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, sage monkey.

Stigkenlarn Higsidgat created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Stigkenlarn Higsidgat, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Stigkenlarn Higsidgat, he will try to impress you with trees.

Stigkenlarn Higsidgat's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Stigkenlarn Higsidgat's Holy Commandments

1. Stigkenlarn Higsidgat loves seals, so they must be respected.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never mention capybaras.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Never look at asteroids.