Yarpitspag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, charitable narwhal.

Yarpitspag created the Small Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Yarpitspag, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yarpitspag, he will turn you into a snail.

Yarpitspag's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Yarpitspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near rats while wearing green scarves.

3. Always help mice.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not chop down trees.