Nart is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, dishonest dove.

Nart created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nart, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nart, it will destroy your home planet.

Nart's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Nart's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.