Yarlcimyar is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, omniscient monkey.

Yarlcimyar created an atom two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlcimyar, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yarlcimyar, it will not care at all.

Yarlcimyar's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Yarlcimyar's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarlcimyar.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.