Zimyarl Busragquart is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, clever tapir.

Zimyarl Busragquart created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Zimyarl Busragquart, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zimyarl Busragquart, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Zimyarl Busragquart's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Zimyarl Busragquart's Holy Commandments

1. Zimyarl Busragquart must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Feed all hungry porpoises.