Arprillip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, clever weasel.

Arprillip created an electron three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arprillip, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Arprillip, he will make you grow a tail.

Arprillip's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Arprillip's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Retreat if nine dogs approach from the north.

3. You must pray to Arprillip eight times a day.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not make images of living things.