Tonquimpanfaswabbapwan is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, witty salamander.

Tonquimpanfaswabbapwan created the Virgo Supercluster two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonquimpanfaswabbapwan, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tonquimpanfaswabbapwan, it will not care.

Tonquimpanfaswabbapwan's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Tonquimpanfaswabbapwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Tonquimpanfaswabbapwan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never sing near dolphins.

5. Do not eat apples.