Bonsidnan is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, blissful salamander.

Bonsidnan created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonsidnan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bonsidnan, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bonsidnan's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Bonsidnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peas to goats while wearing brown dresses.

2. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always help swans in need.

5. Do not shave your arms.