Flabquatgid is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, proud ferret.

Flabquatgid created the Sol system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabquatgid, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flabquatgid, he will turn you into a slug.

Flabquatgid's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Flabquatgid's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise rings.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

3. Erect seven silver sculptures of Flabquatgid on top of important buildings.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. You must pray to Flabquatgid nine times a day.