Futbutdag is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, unsympathetic skunk.

Futbutdag created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futbutdag, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Futbutdag, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Futbutdag's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Futbutdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.