Vedspagcen Gubtarglap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, flying rat.

Vedspagcen Gubtarglap created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedspagcen Gubtarglap, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vedspagcen Gubtarglap, she will send minions to preach to you.

Vedspagcen Gubtarglap's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Vedspagcen Gubtarglap's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never feed lots of grapes to hamsters while wearing blue shoes.