Dapquartfarntaghit Fumdonfid is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, ill-tempered camel.

Dapquartfarntaghit Fumdonfid created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Dapquartfarntaghit Fumdonfid, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dapquartfarntaghit Fumdonfid, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dapquartfarntaghit Fumdonfid's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Dapquartfarntaghit Fumdonfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention dogs.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Dapquartfarntaghit Fumdonfid in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Never talk about moths.