Hivhanvon is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, cheerful octopus.

Hivhanvon created the Sun three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivhanvon, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hivhanvon, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Hivhanvon's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Hivhanvon's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.