Rullarpcusspib Rotmeglarp is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, selfish mongoose.

Rullarpcusspib Rotmeglarp created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Rullarpcusspib Rotmeglarp, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Rullarpcusspib Rotmeglarp, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Rullarpcusspib Rotmeglarp's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Rullarpcusspib Rotmeglarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never wear mauve corsets.

3. Never write about dark energy.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never feed nuts to swans while wearing turquoise shirts.