Bonlunpon Popkanmap Karbomvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a large, passionate chicken.

Bonlunpon Popkanmap Karbomvonk created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonlunpon Popkanmap Karbomvonk, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bonlunpon Popkanmap Karbomvonk, he will turn you into a slug.

Bonlunpon Popkanmap Karbomvonk's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Bonlunpon Popkanmap Karbomvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. You must pray to Bonlunpon Popkanmap Karbomvonk seven times a day.

5. Run away from magenta mites, for they are unholy.