Kophomshav is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, conceited gorilla.

Kophomshav created snails five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kophomshav, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kophomshav, it will turn you into a hamster.

Kophomshav's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Kophomshav's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six silver sculptures of Kophomshav on top of important buildings.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

4. Never sprint near snakes.

5. Do not cook food in pots.