Nuttnartmif is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, loving tapir.

Nuttnartmif created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttnartmif, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nuttnartmif, he will be very unhappy.

Nuttnartmif's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Nuttnartmif's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nuttnartmif.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Eagles are not to be trusted.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.