Cabtendap is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, self-confident bat.

Cabtendap created the Whirlpool Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Cabtendap, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cabtendap, he will turn you into a mouse.

Cabtendap's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Cabtendap's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands cyan.

2. Never jump in the presence of otters.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about foxes.