Loopzadqueegzab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthinking raven.

Loopzadqueegzab created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopzadqueegzab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Loopzadqueegzab, he will turn you into a sheep.

Loopzadqueegzab's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Loopzadqueegzab's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured voles.

2. Feed all hungry turtles.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never hurt seals.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.