Gadstikpak is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, ill-tempered jellyfish.

Gadstikpak created a down quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadstikpak, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gadstikpak, he will turn you into a rat.

Gadstikpak's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Gadstikpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Put Gadstikpak first in all things.

4. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

5. Never feed peanuts to goats while wearing brown scarves.