Nurtkipjabgat is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, sapient wren.

Nurtkipjabgat created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtkipjabgat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nurtkipjabgat, it will manifest in front of you.

Nurtkipjabgat's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Nurtkipjabgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nurtkipjabgat.

4. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Nurtkipjabgat must be the most important thing in your life.