Lopmansandhadbidbastgonnull is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, dishonourable crab.

Lopmansandhadbidbastgonnull created the solar system six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopmansandhadbidbastgonnull, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lopmansandhadbidbastgonnull, he will cry a lot.

Lopmansandhadbidbastgonnull's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Lopmansandhadbidbastgonnull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always treat ducks with great respect.

5. Never wear boots.