Fenfabtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, resourceful porpoise.

Fenfabtonk created vertebrates two years ago.

If you believe in Fenfabtonk, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fenfabtonk, she will turn you into a duck.

Fenfabtonk's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Fenfabtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

2. Never talk about optics.

3. Retreat if six doves approach from the north.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Never hurt whales.