Tonktarpwot is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful chicken.

Tonktarpwot created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonktarpwot, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tonktarpwot, she will turn you into a mouse.

Tonktarpwot's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Tonktarpwot's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tonktarpwot.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always help sick snakes.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.