Straggomkar is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, quiet mole.

Straggomkar created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Straggomkar, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Straggomkar, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Straggomkar's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Straggomkar's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never talk about spacetime near badgers while wearing mauve trousers.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never write about archaea.