Babarfstaffab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, calm cow.

Babarfstaffab created gold three billion years ago.

If you believe in Babarfstaffab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Babarfstaffab, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Babarfstaffab's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Babarfstaffab's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Babarfstaffab six times a day.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peas.