Vabminmin is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, staggering guinea pig.

Vabminmin created light two million years ago.

If you believe in Vabminmin, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vabminmin, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vabminmin's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Vabminmin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near badgers while wearing violet jumpers and balancing five tin spheres on your arms.

5. Do not chop down trees.