Fonjanzak is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, tranquil crow.

Fonjanzak created light eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonjanzak, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fonjanzak, he will destroy your favourite star.

Fonjanzak's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Fonjanzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Fonjanzak loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.