Nigmobnurt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, awe-inspiring squid.

Nigmobnurt created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nigmobnurt, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nigmobnurt, he will cry a lot.

Nigmobnurt's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Nigmobnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Nigmobnurt must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.