Bidsattimnel is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, caring shark.

Bidsattimnel created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidsattimnel, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bidsattimnel, she will turn you into a rock.

Bidsattimnel's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bidsattimnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Run away if six geese approach from the south.

4. Always help sick seals.

5. Pray towards the north.