Lapnarlbestvanwikmetzog is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, blissful horse.

Lapnarlbestvanwikmetzog created life four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapnarlbestvanwikmetzog, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lapnarlbestvanwikmetzog, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Lapnarlbestvanwikmetzog's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Lapnarlbestvanwikmetzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never talk about bats.