Linzogyakfomdabbempiglun is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, confident scorpion.

Linzogyakfomdabbempiglun created the Virgo Supercluster eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linzogyakfomdabbempiglun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Linzogyakfomdabbempiglun, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Linzogyakfomdabbempiglun's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Linzogyakfomdabbempiglun's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Never talk about chlorophyll.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.